I woke up today with great sadness. My husband of almost 4 years and my best friend and love of my life of 6, filed for divorce yesterday.
I knew it was coming. He had told me he was. I had hoped it wouldn't but then again thats the selfish desire of my own heart. God's plan is bigger than mine and my husbands. When I found out yesterday morning I had about 10 minutes of where it consumed me and thinking of all the things I wanted to say to Mike. Just driving home lashing out about my pain and my hurt. Knowing good and well I would not and could not say those things to him. They were my human heart speaking.
Then I stopped and started immediately talking to God. Blessing him for the things going on. Yep you heard me I started giving God the glory for his plan. I dont know it but I know he is working and protecting me from whatever it is thats bigger than I can see.
And its HARD. Its hard to not want to say OK God can you just give me a little preview and sneaky peek of whats in store. But if God did that would we still continue to follow him in this journey or think ok well thanks now I know and can do it on my own.
SO when I woke up I started to immediately pray and ask God to show me what I needed to do today. What did I need to do to give him the glory and do his work. I started going through some of my devotional and decided to get into the scripture. It led me a few places, and i thought I had found what i was to pray over and learn about- disobedience and pride. But I kept going and ended up on Jeremiah Chapter 17 versus 5 to 10
Wisdom from the Lord
5- This is what the Lord says: Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the Lord.
6- They are like stunted shrubs in the desert with no hope for the future They will live in the barren wilderness in an uninhabited salty land.
( MY fave verse) 7- But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
8- They are like trees planted along a riverbank with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green and they never stop producing fruit.
9- The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?
10- But I the Lord search all hearts and examine secret motives I give all people their due rewards according to what their actions deserve
This just hit me right where I needed it to. I cant imagine those who dont know the Lord going through anything similar to mine and not having a gracious Lord that will give you hope and take care of your heart. We all have our secrets of the heart- i have told mine to the Lord alot even though he already knows them. For my marriage to be restored. More importantly for my Husband to be the man of God that he once was and to come back to him with his pride gone with his love for the Lord shining and that God will make our marriage new- meaning that our past is our past and that even if we have to heal from it that we are both redeemed and giving our marriage and all glory to the Lord.
I pray that if you are struggling with your faith over a situation that you start to lean on the Lord and let him fill you with the Holy Spirit and with love, peace, joy and faith. You might not can see him working the miracles but he has promised us that he will not leave us and will do what is good for those that trust him. He loves us. Unconditionally.... nothing is too great for the Lord to handle.
Stephanie Jones
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