Proverbs 31 Woman

 If you would have told me 6 months ago that I would be rejoicing and filled with peace while going through literally the most heartbreaking season of my life I would have thought you ( or I) had gone mad. 

But here we are! 

I went to counseling today on my 4 year anniversary. And every time I go I learn more and more about who I am, my purpose, what God is doing in my life and in my husbands life, and pieces start to fall into place slowly. Very. Very. Slowly.

I also learn more about the Christian wife and mom I want to be. The one I was not for so many years before. The Proverbs 31 Woman. What's ironic is that my husband has said several times that once I realize that this is for real I will go back to the person I was before. But that person is dead and gone. I know this is for real. I live it every single day of my life. I live the pain, the hurt I feel, the damage I did, the times I could have changed my response when we would fight. I get to relive moments where God was trying to give me the chance to come back to him the easy way. But noooo, we were having none of that because I was in control lol. Yeah - and look where it got me. 

So here it is straight to the point of who I am striving to be each day. 

A Wife of Noble Character

Prov 31: 10-31

10-Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?She is more precious than rubies

11- Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life 

12- She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life

13- She finds wool and flax and busily spins it

14- She is like a merchant's ship bringing her food from afar.

15- She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the days work for her servant girls

16- She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plans a vineyard

17-She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.

18- She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night.

19- Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber

20- She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy

21- She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes 

22- She makes her own bedspreads . She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.

23- Her husband is well known at the city gates where he sits with the other civic leaders

24- She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants.

25- She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future

26- When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness

27- She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness

28- Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her. 

29- There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all.

30- Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

31- Reward her for all she has done . Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. 

I think everything about this is beautiful. I am taking each day to be the christian wife and mom I so desire to be. To extend grace and love and kindness to my family. To watch over and pray over them daily. To come together with my husband and bring it to the Lord each day. To be respected, honored, cherished, loved, blessed by my Heavenly Father each day as he searches my heart to know my true intentions. You can always say things, but your actions always speak much louder than your words ever can.