Michael Thomas Jones-
Happy 4th Anniversary to us. Sounds a little weird considering we can't even speak to each other let alone be together. Nonetheless, Four years is a lot. And I love you.
This might be one of the craziest things I have ever done! Write you a love letter during a divorce that I can't even send to you. But God knows my heart and he knows what he's doing. So I wanted to share that with you.
We have been through so much over the past six years. I remember you telling me early on when things were happening and I was being put into situations that literally was crazy you were so surprised I didn't turn the other direction and run for the hills. But i knew the moment we met I loved you. I knew God had brought you to me at the right time. I didn't even wanna date after the hurt I had endured for the last 5 years by my ex, but I went along with it to make people happy. After a year of being single and being perfectly ok, I found you. And every day I knew you I woke up eager to hear from you. See you. Hug you. Kiss you. I felt like a 16 year old in love for the first time again.
You told me about your situation and that you didn't have much because of it. That you couldn't take me out on these expensive dates etc. I didn't care. Money meant nothing to me. All that mattered was seeing you and spending time with you. I didn't care about any of that. Not a bit. All i cared about was taking care of you and your babies. Making sure your house was nice for you and them. Cause i knew you felt ashamed that you weren't home a lot to take care of it. Making sure the kids had whatever they needed. That first christmas lol with the ficus tree lol. Going out and buying them presents for you and from you because it wasn't in the budget at the time. But I wanted them to know their daddy loved them so i made sure the gifts were from you and Santa mainly.
Every day with you was one i never wanted to end.
And then we finally were able to get married. We decided to go ahead months ahead because we had that miscarriage and you wanted to do things the right way. In GODS eyes we needed to be married so we could do the right thing. And it was the best marriage I ever had ( lol third times a charm) in my moms living room with just those close to us. It was perfect. Genuinely happy in the photos. Just felt like i was a princess in a castle that day.
We have said through the years that we know GOD brought us together. We both felt and knew it. Yet we let GOD slip from our marriage slowly. We both would "have our own faith" but never together. We never took the time to pray daily over each other together. Nothing. We let life consume us. And our toxic marry go round continued to go faster and faster till it was out of control. We both continued to play the blame game. We both let our ego and pride rule our lives. We both said we needed to get help but then it never happened. I let hurt and anger and resentment rule me. You pushed it aside in hopes it would get better but we both know that without GOD it never would. And then you had enough and left. We won't go into the things said that were hateful and hurtful. Ive owned up to my part already.
I have loved you through everything. Pain. Sickness. Emergency surgery. Death. Finances. Bankruptcy. Court battles. Custody issues. Everything. I have never stopped loving you for who you really are. The man GOD gave me six years ago. Because the man that is doing these things is not the GODLY man that you were several years ago. Maybe that hurts to read. But its true. Its like we have switched roles. Im now the prayer warrior for this marriage. Im the one fighting tooth and nail for you to come back and be the christian man that i know you are. And i have the most powerful thing on my side- GOD. I love you enough to fight for you with him. I love you enough to never quit. I love you enough to be thankful that GOD put me in this place to rely on him and make me stronger and the true christian wife and mom my family deserves.
I LOVE YOU ENOUGH. Even when you say you don't.
Happy Anniversary from your crazy cat lady- the one that would fight for you always- the only one that has ever fought for you,
Stephanie Jones
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