Second Happy

 Its been a minute since I have felt like evening writing. So much has been going on and a lot of it was very hard to deal with. 

But I want to write about a book that I know without a doubt GOD placed in my life. And you might find it ironic that he would place a book about marriage in my lap when I am literally facing divorce. And everyone and their brothers dog is telling me not to get my hope up. But that's what GOD is in the business of doing- bringing Hope in the darkest of moments.

So let me give you a backstory on this one. Cause its a lot. I had been praying for two months to be able to eat lunch with my daughter ( my step daughter) and just praying for GOD to make the moment right for me to do so. It was her birthday this past sunday so i wanted to go eat lunch with her friday at school. My  mom had wanted to get her a gift card and I immediately knew what- Claire's. That child loves that place. 

My mom had been too busy to go and get it so I said ill go. Of course I get to walmart and they dont open till 11. I thought well then its not supposed to be cause her lunch is at 11 and there's no way. I was upset and thought ill just have to leave her gifts on the porch. I left and was going to go meet someone for breakfast. And as its almost time they cancelled. And i just stopped and parked the car and threw up my hands and told GOD if something didn't work out I was done with the whole thing. I had texted my friend Hannah and told her the situation. While im sitting there having my pity party she messages me and tells me: 

"I felt this tugging in my heart to go try and find where you can get the gift card. Go try Kroger it says they have them."

So not having anything to loose I ran over to Kroger. I was searching and searching and there , at the very bottom, was that gift card. I lost it in Kroger. I knew it was meant to be. But then of course I was terrified at how it was going to go. I had not spoken to or seen her in 2 months. I was shaking so bad the whole way to lunch. 

Yall- GOD SHOWED UP in so many ways that day. My baby told me how thankful she was I was there. She kept telling me over and over that she missed me and wanted to spend time with me. Could i come back??? She didn't care if i brought her lunch just to come back. My heart was bursting and i was crying. I loved on her and rejoiced. Little did I know a week later that would be ripped from me - which it was. And while it hurt so much i KNOW without a doubt the enemy was at play. God would never give you something and rip it away. And even in my anger at the situation I was at peace knowing GOD would prevail. 

When i got up the next day I didn't wanna go anywhere. But something kept telling me to go to Mardels. I had not been there in years. I mean like childhood probably. And i was like WHY i have no money i told myself it was because I wanted to see if they had this spiral bible i wanted. So i head off and get there and start looking around. Im back in the bargain books and this book just stood out to me. It was the only one there. It was a buck. It was called the Second Happy. I was like hmmmm and picked it up didn't even read anything about it. I figured for a buck if it was crap i was fine. Got home and threw it to the side. 

 So after that happened something small to most but mighty to me happened- my husband unfriended me on facebook. It hurt so bad that night i couldn't even eat i had to go upstairs. I cried myself to sleep that night.  Saturday night. I was hurting so bad over this. I knew it was because I had gone to eat with her but i didn't understand at all. I woke up around 4 am and was so angry because here GOD had showed me such hope and answered my prayers why was this happening. I drove around for a bit and felt it in my heart to go see a friend (hannah) and spend the day at church and with her family. Which i did. I drove the almost 2 hours to surprise her. And it was just what i needed. As i was driving home I asked God many times to show me Hope. To show me restoration in my marriage and family. As i was almost home i got that confirmation. 

Fast forward to Monday- i decided to pick up that 1.00 book and read. 

I sobbed. I sobbed out to God so hard i thought i was going to suffocate i couldn't breath. This book was the exact marriage that I was in, the marriage I wanted, the items i craved to make my marriage into. I literally was reading the blueprint of what we were going through, and the roadmap of what I have been praying for for the past two months. I promise you guys I couldn't make this up. Every chapter I read and have read is literally our marriage. To a T. I have cried over each chapter just as hard. I cry out to GOD HOW CAN YOU GIVE ME THIS! I WANT THIS!! SHOW ME HOW PLEASE LORD!!!

I know that book was given to me by our Father. I even went back to try and find another one to give to my friend and can't find another one at all. She ended up ordering it online lol. But im telling you go get it. If you are in a marriage even if its not in dire straights GO GET THIS BOOK. Anyway you can. Its amazing. Its mind blowing. Its so simple the things they tell you on how to have a better Christ filled and centered marriage. It even has a place for couples to do it together, or a small group. I keep praying over this that when the time is right and GOD brings my marriage back from the dead with a new creation in HIM that we will be able to read and follow this book.

Some people will say oh that's just fate- no sir! That's GOD. I would never ever have even read a book on marriage even if we weren't in this predicament. I could have cared less. That book was meant for me that day. I am thankful i listened to GOD nudging me. He is good. All the time.

Stephanie Jones