The real world David and Goliath

 We all know the bible story of David and Goliath. 

This huge giant and the small man of God. The giant equipped with all the armor that weighed more than some of us do. And then David, equipped with just a smooth little stone.

But yet God used him. David walked by faith into that battle knowing God would protect him. 

Faith. This keeps coming up over and over again with  me lately. I feel like I have enough faith for the entire world. Because everywhere I turn I keep hearing doubt. I keep hearing hateful words from the one I love the most. Everyone around me it seems has given up, thrown in the towel, and admitted defeat. 

Yet here I am just trusting God and walking with Faith. My hope resting 100 percent on my heavenly father.

Divorce is for me the real life battle of David and Goliath. You have one person that is the giant- the one firing those fiery arrows from the devil into your soul. The one that is doing everything you feel to destroy you, trying to make you give up your hope of ever having them love you again. 

Then you have the David- the one that is standing in the storm clinging onto God for dear life. Praying over their spouse. Praying for healing and for restoration. Having literally zero tools but your FAITH in GOD and prayer. Prayer being that smooth little stone that killed the giant.

Prayer is so powerful. Surrendering it all to GOD and walking in FAITH that he will fight this battle that is really ALREADY WON. He is the author of our tomorrows. He already knows the outcome of this battle. He knew it was going to happen before you ever were born. He's already got you covered and all he is asking is to lean on him 100 percent and trust that he will bring you through the storm unscathed and blessed. And IT IS THE HARDEST THING EVER. I wont lie. I trust 100 percent in my gracious heavenly father. But i still hurt and thats what makes it so hard. I hurt like someone has lit my soul on fire, but at the same time I have such peace because I know GOD is working. I have seen small things every day. I know he's got me. 

Read all about this in 1 Samuel chapter 17

I made this note in my bible: " God will give you the tools you need to fight. But its with your faith in God that you dont even worry- even if the tool is a small rock"

God will give you everything you need to fight your battle. No matter how small you think it is. Mine is the power of prayer. And if you need anything prayed for I will be honored and humbled to pray for you. I would feel so thankful that you would trust me to go to God in prayer for you. Im just a vessel that my testimony is being used to reach people for my gracious father! 

1 Peter 4: 12-17 

Dear friends, dont be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. 13- Instead be very glad for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to the world.

( continued through 17) 

also 1 Peter 5:8-10

Stay alert watch out for your great enemy the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 9. Stand firm against him and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are. 10.In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will RESTORE, SUPPORT AND STRENGTHEN YOU and he will place you on a firm foundation. 

Hang tight!!! God's in that battle fighting for you. And he will not let you suffer long if you stay steadfast in your faith and let him show you the amazing plan he has for you!!

Stephanie Jones 

Walk in Faith that God is Working

 I have said this many times- I have a bit of a control issue.I also have a big issue with patience. 

And oh how the good Lord is testing my control and patience now!

Over the past almost three weeks I have changed to a different person. I am still me but I am a new me in that I have given it all to God. All the control, all the praise, all the glory in everything hes doing in my life. That means the good AND the bad. 

I do have moments because I am a sinner and I am human flesh where I break down and just sob to God. Last night was a perfect example. I got on my knees in my living room and just let the flood gates open and cried out to God to hear my heart. To hear my pain and give me strength to continue on with him beside me. I cried out to him that I need my husband! I need the man that he had given me to come back. But to come back humbled to God. To come back laying everything at Gods feet and surrendering it all to him.

I dont want my old marriage. I want a new marriage in GOD with him as the lead. I want a new husband in Mike that fully surrenders to our gracious Lord and asks for forgiveness and knows that we need to move forward seeking his guidance in EVERYTHING we do. I know God is working. I can feel it. I have faith and i have hope. I also know that whatever it is that GOD brings to me is what he wants for me. Its hard to sit back and not know whats going on but trusting that the Lord is bringing me a bigger blessing. 

Something that happened yesterday made me humbled. I had the opportunity to show Christs love to someone that was having a hard time with her depression. I have been there. I didnt do anything but let GOD use me as a vessel to reach her. And along with her another lady with the same issues. She had made the comment that no one noticed. But GOD noticed! And he used me to show her that. It made me so humbled to know im being used for his glory daily.

I went to the scripture and was looking when all this happened. Nothing is fate- its all GODS PERFECT TIMING. 

I read about the 100 sheep and the 1 that strayed. That one that strayed was gone to find immediately and then was rejoiced over when found. That is how GOD feels about us. He will leave the 99 to go find you and bring you back to him REJOICING as he does so. Your life is so precious and loved by our father. 

Then today I have been shown several passages about faith. Like Jesus walking on water and asking Peter to trust him and come out onto the waves. When he did he was walking toward Jesus and then let fear overcome him and started to sink. He shouted out save me Lord! Jesus grabbed him and said "You have so little faith. Why did you doubt me? Peter knew the Lord was there, he KNEW he was walking on water to him, but let his doubt and fear overcome him instead of just continuing to trust that Jesus wouldnt let him sink.

We do this all the time. We let our own insecurities and doubt take over when we dont SEE WHAT WE WANT TO SEE ! When we dont see how God is handling our battles and we start to doubt that he really is there. That he really is taking care of us. That he really is working as the way maker and miracle worker he TRULY IS. I know ive done it. We all have. 

What I have tried to do is when i feel that doubt start to creep in, I stop and start praying and talking to God. I start to immediately have a conversation wherever I am for him to come and put peace in my heart and take the enemies thoughts from my mind and give me the strength and faith to remember who he is and who is taking care of me. 

Matthew 14:22-36

Matthew 7:7

Matthew 7:24

Matthew 8:23-27

God bless! 

Stephanie Jones

God's timing is PERFECT. Period

 One of my struggles has been control. I have a very hard time letting go of things and not having control over it. Even the smallest things I needed some control. 

That was one of the biggest complaints Mike would tell me I had. And I argued with him about it all the time. I didnt see it. I couldnt see it. The past few months I have been letting go of control over a lot of things. But up until the past few weeks I never fully let go of my life and gave it to God.

I learned super fast that without God in control of my life I was going to fail. Every time. Which leads up to this- God's timing in everything is perfect. There are no if's, ands or buts about it. 

Last week I went back to church for the first time in awhile. I sat down and immediately was sad. Emotions flooded over me as I thought back to the first time Mike and I had went to that church together. We were late, arguing over who knows what, but we made it. We sat down and the pastor started his sermon and we looked at each other- we both nodded and smiled that yep we needed to be here this message was for us. 

So as we stood up to worship the first thing I saw was this couple in front of me. The man had his arm around what I was assuming was his wife and they were worshiping together. And the flood gates opened and I just started silently sobbing there while worshiping the Lord. I missed that! I wanted that again with my husband so bad it hurt. I thought back to all the times I had the chance to go to church with Mike but I didnt because i was tired, or i was upset because we had fought the night before, or a million other things. And i was so angry with myself for not allowing God to take control right the

n and there of my life in the past. So many times he had blessed me with the chance to change things and make our life better. And I had ignored it because I WAS IN CONTROL. 

No. I was never in control. I was building a bigger chaotic mess than i realized. 

Fast forward to this morning. I went back to church and there was that same couple sitting there waiting on the service to start. God nudged me to go tell them how much seeing them love each other had made me feel and what was going on. I introduced myself and told them the situation.

The words that came out of his mouth made me fill with joy and knew GODS TIMING was perfect. See him and his wife were at odds right then. They were going through something and both of them were mad or angry etc. But he said they werent giving up. And then he said GOD IS WORKING! For you to come over here on this very day and say what I said was a blessing to them. I was a blessing to them! I ended up sitting with them and talking to them after the service a bit.

See, God knew where I needed to be and where they needed to be. I was able to help them as they had helped me and we didnt even know we were. I gave God all the glory for this when we started to worship and sing praises. It made my whole day that God was using me in my pain and my hurt to be a blessing to someone else going through something as well. He works in mysterious ways. And once again his timing is PERFECT.

Through all this I have leaned on God and let him lead me and guide me. He is the way maker. I might not see what the behind the scenes plans are that he has prepared for me, but I know they are going to be so much bigger and better than anything I could ever imagine. He is protecting me and making a way for me in my life. And it fills me with joy that I am using my testimony for him to reach others. God is good all the time!

Stephanie Jones

Why hasnt God come back yet???

 To say I was not ready to see the video i saw and have the feelings of so many emotions wash over me is an understatement. 

Every morning when I wake up I ask God to show me what I need to see, or what I need to do, what that day should bring to him for his glory. I make my coffee and then sit down to go over my daily prayer for my marriage and then daily prayer list for others. 

While doing this I am scrolling tik tok watching videos- and its a great uplifting thing to hear other Christians on there praying and worshiping etc. 

However, this morning I came across a video pretty fast of a lady talking about a conversation she had with her husband. She saw him standing in a window and asked him what was wrong. He asked her if she ever thought why hasnt God come back yet. She told him this " There's a name in the book of life that hasnt been wrote down that needs saved"

Man. I was overwhelmed with such emotions over this. She went on to talk about how her sister and his sister she prayed that they were saved and would meet them in heaven. My heart just ached. 

And this is the uncomfortable part- I have no clue with 100 percent certainty about my husbands salvation. I know we had once had a conversation and I know he told me he was. And of course he and I have been in church etc. He says he prays to God over things and makes sure the kids have been in church even when I wasnt. So theres a 99 percent chance that he is. But that 1 percent scares me. People can go to church and do all the right things, say all the right things, and think they are truly saved and arent. 

AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT THEN BE OFFENDED!!! YALL! We are not called to sit by and let our loved ones not know Christ. Be uncomfortable. Have the conversations. Ask. If you think it will stir something up then DO IT ANYWAYS. This is your calling. And it could be the last time you have the chance to do it! 

I love my husband more than anything with the kids being a second. I would give up ever seeing him again on this earth but KNOW i will rejoice with him in Heaven! That means more to me than anything of this world. To know that his salvation is secure. I pray over him daily for him to know the Lord better to come back to him and give it all to God. 

IF you love them, pray for them, over them, with them. Talk to them. Ask them to go to church. Ask them the hard questions about Jesus. Witness to others the love of the most amazing father we could ever ask for! Dont let the sun go down today without doing this because it might not rise tomorrow for them.

Stephanie Jones 

Praying over my divorce papers

 Yep you read that title right.

I got my divorce papers yesterday, read them, heart swelled up with hurt, then put them down and prayed over them.

There was a passage in there, and if you have never been divorced ( i have twice as well as my husband has twice) you will not know how truly harsh they make them sound. Its like your soul has been hit with a fireball. But it stated- There is no HOPE of reconcilliation.

I stopped and laughed. I laughed! Why?

Because with GOD all things are possible. I thought well you dont know God now do you. Cause that is what God is all about- hope. Doing the impossible in an impossible situation. He is a way maker, a miracle worker in all things. 

One thing that was said to me when he first left two weeks ago was that God had convicted him to get a divorce. 

That is one of the biggest lies ever stated. And that lie comes from the enemy. God in fact wants the opposite in a marriage. He wants it to be saved, healed, redeemed. To honor the covenant that was made to him. 

But we are of the world. Our flesh desires what our flesh desires. And Satan is extremely crafty and deceptive of what he will speak into our hearts and ears. I woke up this morning and asked God where he wanted me to be in his word today. 

I started out in James Chapter 1 Verses 19 to 27 and it talks about holding our anger and not speaking harshly. It was the MAIN issue between my husband and I. We would start arguing and then it would become so hateful and mean that it was like we were trying to one up each other in the who can hurt who dept. And let me tell you there were some extremely harsh things said by the both of us.I would be coming from a place of hurt and anger and would say just about anything to make him mad and hurt like me. Things I didnt really mean and I knew it but i would continue on till I got him so angry at me that he would essentially "blackout" with his anger and then I would realize how I had gone down this path again knowing good and well it was wrong. I would then realize when it got to the point of no return that i had screwed up and would start the "save" mode. But by then it is usually too late. He would beg me to stop and I wouldnt listen. I couldnt. I was so fueled by hurt that I literally just wanted to explode. 

Then that led me back to Ephesians Chapter 5 verses 21-33 which talks about how you are supposed to love your spouse and submit to your husband. To love like Christ loved the church.

The truth of the matter is I didnt love and submit to my husband the way Christ wanted me to. I wasnt that safe space for him and that spiritual wife that he could come to. I was a place of unrest and dread. I loved him so much but I was not his joy or his peace in our marriage. And it hurts to have to lay that out there. Im not saying that he is perfect as there are things that fuel the fire and bring it to the boiling level. But I should have stopped and walked away when I got hurt and prayed for kinder words. For grace over what I was feeling to show him grace instead of anger and hate. 

We all can control our actions if we want to. But to do that we truly need to be with God and turn it over to him. We can not do things alone. He is the peace that surpasses all understanding. We are ALLOWED to be hurt and feel upset but we are NOT ALLOWED to lash out in that hurt and anger to the person and people we love and that love us. Its a sin. One i have committed so many times in the past. 

I pray that if you are going through something that brings such hurt and resentment into your life that you will stop now and give it to GOD and ask him how to speak kinder and handle the issues. He will help you speak out of a place of love and grace.

Stephanie Jones

God is the waymaker

 I decided to go get some gas this morning and when I was pulling out of my road I passed my husband. 

Anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldnt get a breath in quick enough. He was coming to drop off the youngest to go to the bus. 

I started getting upset and decided that I was going to go over to my moms , as he had blocked me from contacting him on the phone, and say the things that were swelling up in my heart to say. I got my gas and started on and then GOD told me "Turn the car around and go home. This is my fight. I will handle it"

So I did. 

It wasnt easy. I tried to fight it and continue on but knew immediately that I needed to surrender it to him as I have every time I got anxious or upset. While going home I turned on the song i had found the other day called Way Maker. And I drove in praise worshiping the Lord at the top of my lungs till I returned home. 

The lyrics are so powerful- way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper, light in the darkness my GOD that is who you are.

Even when I dont see you working, even when i dont feel you working, you never stop working

Before this journey started I was living in the world and letting my own desires and flesh rule me. I was letting myself take control of a situation that I had no business taking control over. I was allowing myself to reason that I was strong enough to handle this mess. 

I wasnt. No where near strong enough. You have heard the saying "Bless this mess." But what we SHOULD be saying is REDEEM THIS MESS. CLEAN UP THIS MESS I HAVE MADE. FIX THIS BROKEN MESS. 

Ive been surrendering it all to GOD. Not just my marriage. But my life. My money. Everything. Im still going to have worries and doubts but instead of letting my anxiety and depression take hold ( aka the devil) i turn to him and ask for peace and that he continues to hold my hand and guide me through this mess i have made as a human.

Stephanie Jones

Blessed are those that trust in the Lord, cursed are those who trust in mere humans

 I woke up today with great sadness. My husband of almost 4 years and my best friend and love of my life of 6, filed for divorce yesterday.

I knew it was coming. He had told me he was. I had hoped it wouldn't but then again thats the selfish desire of my own heart. God's plan is bigger than mine and my husbands. When I found out yesterday morning I had about 10 minutes of where it consumed me and thinking of all the things I wanted to say to Mike. Just driving home lashing out about my pain and my hurt. Knowing good and well I would not and could not say those things to him. They were my human heart speaking.

Then I stopped and started immediately talking to God. Blessing him for the things going on. Yep you heard me I started giving God the glory for his plan. I dont know it but I know he is working and protecting me from whatever it is thats bigger than I can see. 

And its HARD. Its hard to not want to say OK God  can you just give me a little preview and sneaky peek of whats in store. But if God did that would we still continue to follow him in this journey or think ok well thanks now I know and can do it on my own. 

SO when I woke up I started to immediately pray and ask God to show me what I needed to do today. What did I need to do to give him the glory and do his work. I started going through some of my devotional and decided to get into the scripture. It led me a few places, and i thought I had found what i was to pray over and learn about- disobedience and pride. But I kept going and ended up on Jeremiah Chapter 17 versus 5 to 10

Wisdom from the Lord

5- This is what the Lord says: Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the Lord.
6- They are like stunted shrubs in the desert with no hope for the future They will live in the barren wilderness in an uninhabited salty land.

( MY fave verse) 7- But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. 

8- They are like trees planted along a riverbank with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green and they never stop producing fruit.

9- The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?

10- But I the Lord search all hearts and examine secret motives I give all people their due rewards according to what their actions deserve

This just hit me right where I needed it to. I cant imagine those who dont know the Lord going through anything similar to mine and not having a gracious Lord that will give you hope and take care of your heart. We all have our secrets of the heart- i have told mine to the Lord alot even though he already  knows them. For my marriage to be restored. More importantly for my Husband to be the man of God that he once was and to come back to him with his pride gone with his love for the Lord shining and that God will make our marriage new- meaning that our past is our past and that even if we have to heal from it that we are both redeemed and giving our marriage and all glory to the Lord.

I pray that if you are struggling with your faith over a situation that you start to lean on the Lord and let him fill you with the Holy Spirit and with love, peace, joy and faith. You might not can see him working the miracles but he has promised us that he will not leave us and will do what is good for those that trust him. He loves us. Unconditionally.... nothing is too great for the Lord to handle.

Stephanie Jones

There are no IFS with God

 One of the biggest things I know I struggle with is not fully trusting that with GOD all things are possible. I have the mentality as the father of the possessed son did in Mark Chapter 9 verses 14 to 29- he asked Jesus to heal his son IF it was possible.

Jesus replied "IF???" 

There are no ifs with him. None. It goes onto say that he healed boy and later on when he was alone with his disciples why they were not able to heal him- he replied that the only way was through prayer. 

Prayer is powerful. 

Read that again. And again. 

God loves us and wants to protect us and heal us. He wants us to be happy and joyful. Matthew 28:20 says 

"Be sure of this; I am with you always even to the end of age"

I have hit my knees so many times over the past few weeks. I have cried out to the Lord in so much pain. And it is said in the bible that he hears my cries and he will not abandon me. 

Now- when I first turned to God like a lot of us do it was because of the painful situation I had found myself in. And i wont lie and say i didnt try to bargain with God or tell him I would change etc. Thats what we do. We find ourselves in despair over whatever it is we are dealing with and turn to him to ask him what WE WANT and that he needs to grant it. 

Nope. Doesnt work that way. As much as we would like it to. After a few days and a lot of crying and hurting I had been sent a friend that has literally been God's blessing. I dont believe in coincidence like I stated. God does everything for his plan. I have not spoke to her in years. YEARS. And i wasnt going to even respond when she messaged me. I took a day and decided why not I can use all the prayers I can get. But her purpose was so much bigger than I ever knew. Gods plan put her in my life. And after i started talking to her I started praying differently. 

Then one morning about 4 am i couldnt sleep. I have a thing where ill get in the car and drive around listening to music. A song i have heard a hundred times growing up came onto my playlist. It was a song i knew by a christian artist- Steven Curtis Chapman. Called Dive. I really started hearing the lyrics. 

Take a leap of faith.
Im diving in 

I felt this immense peace and joy come over me and i felt like my whole heart and soul had been lifted up off my seat and into the heavens. I knew right then and there that God had been right there with me and had filled me with the Holy Spirit. I had an immediate change of everything. And started surrendering it all to him. All of it. 

I talk with him all through the day. Night. Whatever. Im not saying I am not hurting and I still am selfish in what I ask of him. And we talk just like im talking to you. I am human and will still stumble. But I know now how to stop and get in the word of God and talk to him when that happens. 

There are no IFS with God. He is the waymaker. Trust in him.

Stephanie Jones

A Perfectly Imperfect Christian- Welcome!

 Welcome! 

If you are a perfectly imperfect christian saved by Gods amazing grace than you are in the right place!

Recently I have been going through the hardest season of my life- my husband decided to leave me after trying for years to love me through my own hardships. Now- dont get me wrong this was not all my fault. I take full responsibility for all the times I messed up, all the times i said i would change or get help, but it takes THREE ( myself my husband and GOD) to truly have a marriage that is filled with joy and peace.

When you take GOD out of your marriage and try to do things yourself it never ends well. Ever. 

But that is what we both have tried to do for the past few years. Do it on our own. Or as he would say I have GOD in my life- yes I know but you also didnt put GOD in our marriage together. We both tried to do it separately even with his being in our lives.

Thats one thing i think so many people tend to forget. You can have GOD in your life, your spouse can have him, but if you dont have him TOGETHER in your marriage as the HEAD OF YOUR MARRIAGE then it will never work. Period.

I am going to be as real, as raw and vulnerable as I can. I believe that is what my purpose from GOD is. To show others that through the brokenness of our own lives that GOD is good. Even in the most terrible storms. I am currently two weeks into this and am fighting every day for my marriage. I have given my battle to GOD to intervene and let him have control. Its the hardest thing I HAVE EVER done in my life. Because while we sit here and nothing is happening its so easy to think GOD has given up or is not working but HE IS. OH is he ever! You have to trust GODS timing and plan. And its gut wrenching when you know the person you love with all your heart is on the line. 

But oh does GOD have a plan. I call him the waymaker because he truly will make a way even when there seems to be no way. Dont get me wrong when i say i fight for my marriage because i still believe we have to put in the work- by praying and going into GODs word every day. By asking for grace and peace. By praying over our spouse and our family. By not giving in even when we see no progress of GODS plan. Because the devil wants us to give up. He wants us to stop. He knows that right around the corner is GODS blessing and he does not want that.

I have struggled with purpose for awhile. And i have asked myself OVER AND OVER "Why does Satan want my marriage so bad?" until i realized that our brokenness and our hurt and all our issues in our marriage would be a HUGE testimony to others and the devil is scared and trying to keep that from happening. Our marriage being saved and healed and redeemed by GOD would show the world that GOD is good even when we are at our lowest point of despair. That it would show our kids that when they are struggling with whatever it is that when they think they have no hope- GOD! GOD is there to lean on. To show them that when we as flesh wanted to throw in the towel that by the grace and goodness of GOD he brought us back together to show how mighty he is that he can and will do anything for those that fully surrender to him.

I have hope. I dont know GODS plan. but i trust in him fully. 

Stephanie Jones